Anticipatory Grief

Grief Before Death

We know that death and grief touch everyone and are part of life’s normal events. Since admitting its first patient in April 1985, Tidelands Community Hospice has been privileged to provide hospice care and services to over 6,000 patients and families in Georgetown, Horry, and Williamsburg counties. Possibly some of them were friends, family member or neighbors. 

With death and grief, most of us think of grief occurring after the death of a loved one. Perhaps you or someone you know has benefitted from one of Tidelands Community Hospice’s Bereavement Programs. These programs include support groups, workshops for adults and Good Mourning Day Camp programs for children. They are offered at no charge, to all adults and children who are grieving the loss of a loved one, not just hospice families and bring comfort and support to those who are grieving after the death of a loved one.

There is another kind of grief, grief before death, which our interdisciplinary team of medical directors, nurses, home health aides, social workers, chaplains, bereavement and volunteer coordinators often encounter while providing physical, spiritual, emotional and social care to patients and families. “One of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do, is to grieve the loss of someone who is still alive,” Unknown Author. Anticipatory grief, grief before death, is grief one does not often hear discussed. 

1) What is anticipatory grief? 

• Anticipatory grief refers to a grief reaction that occurs before an impending loss. Although it is typically thought of as the emotional responses to the pending death of a loved one by those close to them and/or the person who is dying, it can be associated with non-illness causes such as major changes in one’s life. 

• The term “anticipatory grief” is used to describe the mourning process that occurs before the actual death. It often begins long before death arrives. For some it can begin when one hears a life-limiting diagnosis, for others when they become aware that death is a likelihood. 
• Anticipatory grief is not just about accepting death. It can also be about the losses that already have and will continue to occur as an illness progresses. For patients and family member’s some of those losses include loss of a person’s abilities and independence, loss of hope and future dreams, loss of cognition, and loss of stability and security. 

2) Is anticipatory grief normal?

• Yes, anticipatory grief is very normal. Like grief after death, the fact that one is grieving means one cares.
• Anticipatory grief has many of the same emotional, mental, and physical symptoms as experiences after the death of a loved one. As it is not often talked about, many do not think of loved ones or the person who is dying as experiencing this type of grief. 

3) Does having Tidelands Community Hospice sooner than later help?

• Yes, at Tidelands Community Hospice we understand that anticipatory grief is a normal process and can be powerful. The longer our team works with patients and families, the more they are able to respond to each patient’s unique situation including their medical needs and the emotional, spiritual, and social needs of the patient and family.

• As your community’s locally based not-for-profit hospice, Tidelands Community Hospice provides hospice care, hope, comfort and support to all, regardless of their financial status or life situation. No one is ever turned away.